Top Five Fridays - September 15, 2006
"When you're near me I have no fear
When I'm untrue you see right through me
You know me as deep as the sea goes
Calm my head whenever the storm blows "
Top Five Fridays - September 15, 2006:
Top five things not to do on a first date. - [for gals]
5) Speak of your career in porn.
This one could go either ways. Some guys will shout "cool!," and give you three thumbs up. Others, the normal ones, maybe be a bit freaked out by this. Plus the fact that they would have to 'live up' to all the other guys. Most any fella in his right mind would see the pitfall ahead, and avoid it like the plague. Which more than likely you'd have due to getting plowed by so many different dudes.
4) Complain about how 'ginormous' your ex-boyfriend was.
We don't need to hear how he stretched you out, or made you hurt. If you want to see a man go spineless by the count of ten, start talking smack about your former boyfriend, "the big fella." Though some guys will put on a false front, and act like King Schlong. Don't be fooled ladies. Ask for evidence. If he excuses himself to go to the rest room and never returns, consider yourself lucky.
3) Discuss how bad "the red river's a flowing."
C'mon ladies, just like waxing philosophic on jock itch, this is a discussion best kept in the locker room amongst you're own gender. No amount of pre-meal drinks will make a man able to withstand this discussion for too long. Most of the time you'll hear "check please" before the entrees make it to the table.
2) Speak of your impending breast reduction surgery.
Maybe one day he'll grow to love you for who you are on the inside. But let's face it ladies, in the beginning we only know your outsides. That Sartre book you're holding could contain Garfield comics as far as we're concerned. If you're planning on bulldozing the mountains, don't tell a guy on the first date. Hold out until after you've had the surgery, and see if he has the sack to mention it. That way you'll know if you've got a 'keeper' or not.
1) Ask when he'll be ready to meet your folks.
You know the old cartoons when the character runs away, and all you see is a dust trail and a blur? Well, you'll be seeing that in real life if you talk about doube-dating with your parents on the second go 'round. I mean the guy could be all for commitment, but that's down the line. WAY the hell down the line. Meeting your parents should come no earlier than 3 months into dating. You know, when you're on a semi-daily, and have an implied date on the weekend. Then my friend, you're in a relationship.
Until next time:
"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla." - Jim Bishop
When I'm untrue you see right through me
You know me as deep as the sea goes
Calm my head whenever the storm blows "
Top Five Fridays - September 15, 2006:
Top five things not to do on a first date. - [for gals]
5) Speak of your career in porn.
This one could go either ways. Some guys will shout "cool!," and give you three thumbs up. Others, the normal ones, maybe be a bit freaked out by this. Plus the fact that they would have to 'live up' to all the other guys. Most any fella in his right mind would see the pitfall ahead, and avoid it like the plague. Which more than likely you'd have due to getting plowed by so many different dudes.
4) Complain about how 'ginormous' your ex-boyfriend was.
We don't need to hear how he stretched you out, or made you hurt. If you want to see a man go spineless by the count of ten, start talking smack about your former boyfriend, "the big fella." Though some guys will put on a false front, and act like King Schlong. Don't be fooled ladies. Ask for evidence. If he excuses himself to go to the rest room and never returns, consider yourself lucky.
3) Discuss how bad "the red river's a flowing."
C'mon ladies, just like waxing philosophic on jock itch, this is a discussion best kept in the locker room amongst you're own gender. No amount of pre-meal drinks will make a man able to withstand this discussion for too long. Most of the time you'll hear "check please" before the entrees make it to the table.
2) Speak of your impending breast reduction surgery.
Maybe one day he'll grow to love you for who you are on the inside. But let's face it ladies, in the beginning we only know your outsides. That Sartre book you're holding could contain Garfield comics as far as we're concerned. If you're planning on bulldozing the mountains, don't tell a guy on the first date. Hold out until after you've had the surgery, and see if he has the sack to mention it. That way you'll know if you've got a 'keeper' or not.
1) Ask when he'll be ready to meet your folks.
You know the old cartoons when the character runs away, and all you see is a dust trail and a blur? Well, you'll be seeing that in real life if you talk about doube-dating with your parents on the second go 'round. I mean the guy could be all for commitment, but that's down the line. WAY the hell down the line. Meeting your parents should come no earlier than 3 months into dating. You know, when you're on a semi-daily, and have an implied date on the weekend. Then my friend, you're in a relationship.
Until next time:
"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla." - Jim Bishop
posted by The Big Man | 9/15/2006 11:28:00 PM
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