Top Five Fridays - February 23, 2007
"But I'll go back workin,
come Monday morning I'm right back with the crew
I'll drink a little beer that evening,
Sing a little bit of these working man blues"
Top Five Fridays - February 23, 2007:
Top five things to do when you're bored at work.
5) Hold a World Championship Thumb-Twiddling contest.
Nothing rouses the spirits like a good, old fashioned thumb-twiddling contest. Rock, paper, scissors is archaic. Thumb-widling is the new black, just ask the cool kids. Plus you can make charts to show the progress of each participate. I'm hoping, at the very least, to be a #3 seed.
4) Multiple trips to the restroom.
Just make sure to always act as if you were just finishing up whenever someone else enters the bathroom. Heck, if need be, take a book with you. Just tell everyone you ate some out-of-date Thousand Island, and enjoy the day buried in some Steinbeck. That's not a euphemism, you pervs.
3) Surf for porn.
Ain't nothin' more American than surfing for some high-quiality, or low-quality if you're into that sort of thing, porn on the internet. Though this may not work if you're in a cubicle farm. If necessary, bring in your tent, and pitch it in your cubicle. That will guarantee that no one will come near you. Except maybe that creepy guy in accounting. *shudders*
2) Construct the world's largest rubber band ball.
C'mon, you've got access to the office supply closet. Put those fingers a-workin'! Start purloining ever rubber band in sight, nabbing them from other's desks. Once it gets to gargantuan size, resort to #4 by concealing it in the restroom. Remove a tile, put it in the utility closet, whatever's necessary. Something that would make it even better is if you hummed "Rubberband Man" by the Spinners the entire time. Trust me, it'll make it pass faster.
1) Through headphones, listen to horribly obscene music whilst smiling at coworkers.
There's no real way to describe the warm feeling you get inside listening to "'They' Schools" while smiling down the white honky devil in front of you. Bouncing away to some Cannibal Corpse, at the same time giving a Mister-Rogers-like wave to Sue from Marketing. What they don't know is they foul obscenities blast from your ear buds directly to your brain. That's what'll keep a grin a mile wide on your face.
Until next time:
"Your pencils are creating a health hazard. I could fall and pierce an organ." - Dwight Schrute
come Monday morning I'm right back with the crew
I'll drink a little beer that evening,
Sing a little bit of these working man blues"
Top Five Fridays - February 23, 2007:
Top five things to do when you're bored at work.
5) Hold a World Championship Thumb-Twiddling contest.
Nothing rouses the spirits like a good, old fashioned thumb-twiddling contest. Rock, paper, scissors is archaic. Thumb-widling is the new black, just ask the cool kids. Plus you can make charts to show the progress of each participate. I'm hoping, at the very least, to be a #3 seed.
4) Multiple trips to the restroom.
Just make sure to always act as if you were just finishing up whenever someone else enters the bathroom. Heck, if need be, take a book with you. Just tell everyone you ate some out-of-date Thousand Island, and enjoy the day buried in some Steinbeck. That's not a euphemism, you pervs.
3) Surf for porn.
Ain't nothin' more American than surfing for some high-quiality, or low-quality if you're into that sort of thing, porn on the internet. Though this may not work if you're in a cubicle farm. If necessary, bring in your tent, and pitch it in your cubicle. That will guarantee that no one will come near you. Except maybe that creepy guy in accounting. *shudders*
2) Construct the world's largest rubber band ball.
C'mon, you've got access to the office supply closet. Put those fingers a-workin'! Start purloining ever rubber band in sight, nabbing them from other's desks. Once it gets to gargantuan size, resort to #4 by concealing it in the restroom. Remove a tile, put it in the utility closet, whatever's necessary. Something that would make it even better is if you hummed "Rubberband Man" by the Spinners the entire time. Trust me, it'll make it pass faster.
1) Through headphones, listen to horribly obscene music whilst smiling at coworkers.
There's no real way to describe the warm feeling you get inside listening to "'They' Schools" while smiling down the white honky devil in front of you. Bouncing away to some Cannibal Corpse, at the same time giving a Mister-Rogers-like wave to Sue from Marketing. What they don't know is they foul obscenities blast from your ear buds directly to your brain. That's what'll keep a grin a mile wide on your face.
Until next time:
"Your pencils are creating a health hazard. I could fall and pierce an organ." - Dwight Schrute
posted by The Big Man | 2/23/2007 10:52:00 PM
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