The Big Man Speaketh

My Photo
Name:
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee, United States

Friday, June 23, 2006

Top Five Fridays - June 23, 2006

"And the wind keeps rollin'
And the sky keeps turning grey
And the sun is set
The sun will rise another day
"

Top Five Fridays - June 23, 2006:

Top five ways to not work, at work.

5) Turn your back to open doors, take a nap.
Make sure to have something work-like open on your computer, and keep your hand on your mouse. You may have to work at this one in order to master the fine art of sleeping whilst sitting up.


4) Take lots of smoke breaks.
This one will only work if you do not have to clock-out to take a smoke break. Be sure not to smoke at every break. You may develop medical issues that will make you miss work. That would be a bad thing.

3) Turn your monitor where others cannot see it, play solitaire all day long.
You can play other games also. Try going online, and find a wide variety. Make sure not to look at risque materials on the net. Your boss may start to wonder what you are up to when you're inundated with spyware and e-mails advertising Viagra.

2) Use the bathroom, a lot.
Bring a book into your place of employment, and make many trips to the restroom to read. If the office has restrooms that can hold more than one occupant, be sure to make noises sounding like you're having a rough time. Also be sure to flush often.

1) Write the great American novel.
This way you'll look like you're working, typing away furiously. Make it an epic, Homer-esque novel with plenty of plot. If you're going to write it, you might as well do a bang up job. If needed, utilize the internet for research purposes.

Until next time:
"I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third." - Michael Scott; The Office