Top Five Fridays - April 20, 2007
"There were the smiles before the tears and with the smiles some better years
Who'll buy my mem'ries of things that used to be"
Top Five Fridays - April 20, 2007
Top five ways to spend your tax refund check.
5) Hire K-Fed to play your lil' sis' birthday party.
Ol' K-Fed's hurtin' nowadays. I'm sure you can get him to spit some flow at big, big savings. Hell, if you're feeling froggy, go ahead and hire Hammer, A-ha, and Quiet Riot while you're at it. You have plenty to spend, and it probably won't take much of a chunk out of your refund check. You'll be guaranteed that it's worth every penny.
4) Down payment on a brand new, used car.
I can see it in your eyes. That look of utter want every single time you pass Billy Tom Joe Bob's Fine Used Auto Mobiles. What gets your heart pounding more, the '68 Pacer or the '89 Fiero? They're both in cherry condition. All you need is to lay some flames on the hood, and you'll be rollin' badass-style! Now that you have the check you can slap a couple Franklins down on Billy Tom Joe Bob;s desk, and say "gimme that fuchsia Corvair parked out front. Here's an extra tenner. Make sure it has a full tank of gas!"
3) Jell-o. Lots and lots of jell-o.
Whether it be a swimming pool, or just your run-of-the-mill bathtub, everything goes good with jello. It just depends on how good a year you had. Mix your desired amount, stand back, and watch it jiggle. Just be careful. All that jiggling, you could get motion sickness. Trust me.
2) 147" plasma screen.
Screw the ol' trick of purchasing a big screen TV for the Super Bowl, only to take it back the next day. Now with your pocket's overflowing with the government's money you can make that ginormous piece of plastic, circuitry, and wires your very own. Don't fool around with anything less than 100" when it comes to your viewing enjoyment. The bigger the better. You want to be able to see every last hair on Hurley's face, right?
1) Hookers and blow.
Throwing all your money away on prostitutes and nose candy is an old standby. Whenever anyone I know comes into any money, any at all, I suggest they waste it on ladies of the evening, and a mountain of uncle Montana's pure Colombian joy. And I sure as hell ain't talking about Shakira, though she may be able to fit in the first category.
Until next time:
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has." - Will Rogers
Who'll buy my mem'ries of things that used to be"
Top Five Fridays - April 20, 2007
Top five ways to spend your tax refund check.
5) Hire K-Fed to play your lil' sis' birthday party.
Ol' K-Fed's hurtin' nowadays. I'm sure you can get him to spit some flow at big, big savings. Hell, if you're feeling froggy, go ahead and hire Hammer, A-ha, and Quiet Riot while you're at it. You have plenty to spend, and it probably won't take much of a chunk out of your refund check. You'll be guaranteed that it's worth every penny.
4) Down payment on a brand new, used car.
I can see it in your eyes. That look of utter want every single time you pass Billy Tom Joe Bob's Fine Used Auto Mobiles. What gets your heart pounding more, the '68 Pacer or the '89 Fiero? They're both in cherry condition. All you need is to lay some flames on the hood, and you'll be rollin' badass-style! Now that you have the check you can slap a couple Franklins down on Billy Tom Joe Bob;s desk, and say "gimme that fuchsia Corvair parked out front. Here's an extra tenner. Make sure it has a full tank of gas!"
3) Jell-o. Lots and lots of jell-o.
Whether it be a swimming pool, or just your run-of-the-mill bathtub, everything goes good with jello. It just depends on how good a year you had. Mix your desired amount, stand back, and watch it jiggle. Just be careful. All that jiggling, you could get motion sickness. Trust me.
2) 147" plasma screen.
Screw the ol' trick of purchasing a big screen TV for the Super Bowl, only to take it back the next day. Now with your pocket's overflowing with the government's money you can make that ginormous piece of plastic, circuitry, and wires your very own. Don't fool around with anything less than 100" when it comes to your viewing enjoyment. The bigger the better. You want to be able to see every last hair on Hurley's face, right?
1) Hookers and blow.
Throwing all your money away on prostitutes and nose candy is an old standby. Whenever anyone I know comes into any money, any at all, I suggest they waste it on ladies of the evening, and a mountain of uncle Montana's pure Colombian joy. And I sure as hell ain't talking about Shakira, though she may be able to fit in the first category.
Until next time:
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has." - Will Rogers
posted by The Big Man | 4/20/2007 02:30:00 AM
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