Top Five Fridays - June 30, 2006
"Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes"
Top Five Fridays - June 30, 2006:
Top five reasons for guys to wear shorts in the wintertime.
Anyone who knows me knows that I wear shorts year round. It doesn't matter if it's 3 degrees, I am usually in shorts.
5) You can fit more shorts in the washer.
It's just plain economical sense. You save on your energy and water bill by doing less loads of laundry. You can cram like 20 pairs of shorts in the washer, compared to the 6 pairs of pants at a time.
4) Tennis shoes look funny with pants.
The whole tennis-shoes-with-khakis-look is so 1994. You want to be comfortable, so wear those sneakers with your shorts. Dress shoes with black socks do not mix well with shorts. Make sure you coordinate so no crossovers occur. You don't want to look like your grandfather, do you?
3) Show off your legs.
Nothing impresses the ladies more than some pasty-white, hairy, scarred legs. Show off all of those summertime-weed-whaker battle scars even in the wintertime. The women will be swooning. Swooning I say!
2) You're a big person in an office full of smaller people.
When you're as big as I am you usually get warm quick. Smaller, skinny people have a low tolerance for the cold, therefore the heat is up near 90 degrees. You walk around feeling like a slab of meat on a George Foreman grill. Wear shorts and a t-shirt to ward off any unsightly sweat stains.
1) Pants are for wussies.
If the furthest distance you are traveling is from the car to the office, then why wear pants? The heat will be turned on in the building, and shorts will feel much better. Sure, you may be a little cold on the walk in. So what? Toughen up you pansy, or you might as well put on a skirt!
Until next time:
"Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman." - Larry David
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes"
Top Five Fridays - June 30, 2006:
Top five reasons for guys to wear shorts in the wintertime.
Anyone who knows me knows that I wear shorts year round. It doesn't matter if it's 3 degrees, I am usually in shorts.
5) You can fit more shorts in the washer.
It's just plain economical sense. You save on your energy and water bill by doing less loads of laundry. You can cram like 20 pairs of shorts in the washer, compared to the 6 pairs of pants at a time.
4) Tennis shoes look funny with pants.
The whole tennis-shoes-with-khakis-look is so 1994. You want to be comfortable, so wear those sneakers with your shorts. Dress shoes with black socks do not mix well with shorts. Make sure you coordinate so no crossovers occur. You don't want to look like your grandfather, do you?
3) Show off your legs.
Nothing impresses the ladies more than some pasty-white, hairy, scarred legs. Show off all of those summertime-weed-whaker battle scars even in the wintertime. The women will be swooning. Swooning I say!
2) You're a big person in an office full of smaller people.
When you're as big as I am you usually get warm quick. Smaller, skinny people have a low tolerance for the cold, therefore the heat is up near 90 degrees. You walk around feeling like a slab of meat on a George Foreman grill. Wear shorts and a t-shirt to ward off any unsightly sweat stains.
1) Pants are for wussies.
If the furthest distance you are traveling is from the car to the office, then why wear pants? The heat will be turned on in the building, and shorts will feel much better. Sure, you may be a little cold on the walk in. So what? Toughen up you pansy, or you might as well put on a skirt!
Until next time:
"Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman." - Larry David
posted by The Big Man | 6/30/2006 11:27:00 AM
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