Top Five Fridays - August 11, 2006

"She says, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
Hey honey
Take a walk on the wild side"

Top Five Fridays - August 11, 2006:

Top five ways to get kicked out of a strip club.

5) Request "It's Raining Men."
That's a song for Chippendales, not a seedy strip club. Requesting that song is also a really good way to get your ass kicked. Probably by your friends.

4) Fall asleep on a stripper's jubbly.
If you fall asleep on a stripper's boob the bouncer may get the wrong idea, and kick you to the curb. If you're tired, head to the house. Just hope that a cop doesn't pull you over mistaking you sleepiness for drunkenness.

3) Start taking off your clothes.
People are there to see the ladies, not your flabby spare tire. Plus, if you've got so much back hair that it can be braided, then you should never take your shirt off again. Never.....again. Especially not in a strip club. Sweaty, topless strippers = nice. Sweaty, topless male patrons = disgusting.

2) Make fun of "the goods."
C'mon fellas, some of those women paid good money to be surgically enhanced. So what if one points towards the ceiling, and the other points to the ground. Keep the chuckles to yourself. Can you really be considered a real man if you make fun of a woman's assets? Don't even get us started on how you look in speedos. *shudders*

1) Touch...anything.
It's a good rule of thumb to keep your hands to yourself. Sit on your hands if need be, and remain in your seat. Anything in the general vicinity will get you booted. Not that I would know anything at all about getting bounced from a strip club for inappropriate touching. I swear!


Until next time:
"I go to strip clubs, I like strip clubs... I really want to be a stripper, I'm doing comedy to get into stripping." - Sarah Silverman