Top Five Fridays - September 1, 2006
"I saw two shooting stars last night
I wished on them but they were only satellites
Is it wrong to wish on space hardware?"
Top Five Fridays - September 1, 2006:
Top five ways to recognize that your home is in dire need of a good cleaning.
5) Cut your leg? Just apply some penicillin from the tub.
Go into the bathroom, and chip off some of the mold at the bottom of the tub. You know, the stuff that tickles you whilst you shower. Listen buddy, your shower didn't come with carpeting. That's not really supposed to be there. Go to the work-shed, and get a hammer and chisel. Better yet, find a road construction site, and ask to borrow their jackhammer. Break that crap up, and get it outta there.
4) There's more garbage outside of the can than inside of it.
Why don't you get a 50 gallon drum next time your at Home Depot? Instead of doing the foot-pressing to stuff more garbage in the can, get a larger receptacle. That's better than having to side-step empty Lucky Charms boxes, and empty milk jugs.
3) You eat over the sink because there are no clean dishes.
I know, this is a staple of bachelordom, but grow up. You've got the house, the car, the grown up job. The least you can do is clean a dish now and then. For heaven's sake, you've got a dishwasher. Use it! It does all the dirty work for you.
2) You don't need blinds anymore due to the "tinting" on your windows.
That's not "frosting" on your windows, its dirt and grime. There's this blue stuff that comes in a spray bottle called Windex. Use it. And do a good job. It doesn't look "artsy" if your windows have a film around the edges. That's just nasty.
1) Dust bunnies are bigger than your real pets.
And I'm not talking about little, wiener dogs. I'm talking about big, miniature-horse-sized german shepherds. When you need a 2' sheet of plywood to move dust bunnies around, it's been too long since you last swept. Next time sweep up at the very least every couple of weeks. That way your house won't have dust bunnies to rival the tumbleweeds of Monument Valley.
Until next time:
"Life is denied by lack of attention, whether it be to cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece." - Nadia Boulanger
I wished on them but they were only satellites
Is it wrong to wish on space hardware?"
Top Five Fridays - September 1, 2006:
Top five ways to recognize that your home is in dire need of a good cleaning.
5) Cut your leg? Just apply some penicillin from the tub.
Go into the bathroom, and chip off some of the mold at the bottom of the tub. You know, the stuff that tickles you whilst you shower. Listen buddy, your shower didn't come with carpeting. That's not really supposed to be there. Go to the work-shed, and get a hammer and chisel. Better yet, find a road construction site, and ask to borrow their jackhammer. Break that crap up, and get it outta there.
4) There's more garbage outside of the can than inside of it.
Why don't you get a 50 gallon drum next time your at Home Depot? Instead of doing the foot-pressing to stuff more garbage in the can, get a larger receptacle. That's better than having to side-step empty Lucky Charms boxes, and empty milk jugs.
3) You eat over the sink because there are no clean dishes.
I know, this is a staple of bachelordom, but grow up. You've got the house, the car, the grown up job. The least you can do is clean a dish now and then. For heaven's sake, you've got a dishwasher. Use it! It does all the dirty work for you.
2) You don't need blinds anymore due to the "tinting" on your windows.
That's not "frosting" on your windows, its dirt and grime. There's this blue stuff that comes in a spray bottle called Windex. Use it. And do a good job. It doesn't look "artsy" if your windows have a film around the edges. That's just nasty.
1) Dust bunnies are bigger than your real pets.
And I'm not talking about little, wiener dogs. I'm talking about big, miniature-horse-sized german shepherds. When you need a 2' sheet of plywood to move dust bunnies around, it's been too long since you last swept. Next time sweep up at the very least every couple of weeks. That way your house won't have dust bunnies to rival the tumbleweeds of Monument Valley.
Until next time:
"Life is denied by lack of attention, whether it be to cleaning windows or trying to write a masterpiece." - Nadia Boulanger
posted by The Big Man | 9/01/2006 05:11:00 PM
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