Top Five Fridays - March 23, 2007 + March 30, 2007
"When people run in circles it's a very, very
mad world"
Last Friday I was enjoying some fine company at the soon-to-be-new-4620-aka-hotspot-aka-the-place-to-be The Cali Bar*, and therefore could not post a TFF last week. Below you will find last weeks, along with it's continuation for today.
Top Five Fridays - March 23, 2007
Top five signals to pick up on, for men.
5) Sends over a drink.
If she gets up the gumption to offer you a frosty beverage, you're in like Flynn. Just don't be a wanker, tossing it on her crisp, clean, white shirt, shouting "woo-hoo, wet boobies!!!" Have some class, man. Thank her kindly, and sip from that Blue Tornado she just purchased for you. Just be weary of that pineapple slice that it doesn't poke your eye out.
4) Puts "Let's Get It On" on three-peat, looks directly at you.
Could it be any more obvious? Well, we'll address that later. Get your butt off that bar stool, walk over to her, and try not to make an ass out of yourself. Though with her wearing out some Marvin Gaye, it may not matter what you say. Hell, you could probably chuck a beer on her shirt, yell "wet boobies!!!," and still have a shot. Maybe.
3) Licks her lips.
Easy there buddy. Don't get overly excited, and blow your chance... among other things. Also you have to watch out for the prostitute-factor. This could be a signal for 30 minutes, for the low, low price of $300. Or the woman could just have some leftover ketchup that's she's aching to get rid of with nary a napkin in sight. That's what we call misdirection. So pay attention, and figure out which one it is. May have to have a trial and error basis for the first few women.
2) Notices your Spider-man shirt, starts to discuss whether Wolverine or Batman is the better anti-hero hero.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!! That's a good one. Good luck with that there fella.
1) Phonebook to the back of the head, whilst shouting "dumbass!"
It's an underused approach, but works nonetheless. Hopefully, fingers crossed, you can still pick yourself up off the barroom floor, dust off the cigarette butts and beer bottle tops, and catch her before she leaves. The phonebook method is usually only employed after you've completely missed the all of the four signals listed above. Take the hint, she's jonesing for you dumbass. Go!
Top Five Fridays - March 30, 2007
Top five signals to pick up on, for women.
5) He's been staring at your boobs for the past ten minutes.
Obviously he's interested in you, just maybe not the part you really want him to notice. Or maybe you do, who knows? Just employ a line like "I see you've met the twins," or "hey, I'm up here buddy." Most men will snap out of the glare, and notice you for who you are. Oh sure, they may go back into the trance, but you can at least try to keep them interested in what's coming out of your mouth. If may be difficult. Godspeed, and good luck.
4) Plays "Into The Mystic," "Can I Stay," and "Wild Horses", looks directly at you.
What he can't say, Van, Ray, and Mick will. If you can stop your heart from pounding a gazillion miles-a-minute, your next move should be moseying on over to him. Just be careful that he's not a player, and has read this blog to learn the secret ways to get women. Lord knows that's what I'm renowned for, picking up women. Oodles I say, oodles!
3) Sends over a drink.
Well, it somewhat depends on the drink. If he's sent over what you're drinking, then he's observant. If he sent you four Jagerbombs, you might want to smile, wave, and exit stage left. Short Mark, you know who you are, and what you've done. Dood.
2) Within earshot, starts discussing Grey's Anatomy.
So if you're having a few with the girls, you hear the McDreamy look-a-like talking about what Meredith needs to do, then that means he's letting you know how sensitive a guy he really is. But most guys think the people behind Grey's Anatomy screwed themselves early on. They let Katherine Heigl strip down to her skivvies in the first season. Now most men have no reason to watch the show. If they want melodrama, they can look to their workplace. Unless they're in construction, the lucky bastards.
1) Exists.
C'mon now ladies, haven't you already figured this one out? We're always interested in you. Always. All we have to be is breathing for you to understand that we'd like to get with you. No signals, no drinks, no looks are as obvious as the fact that we're sitting there. So grow set, oh women of the single world, and make the move. We guys have been taking the initiative for years, it's about time the reigns were passed over to you all. Take the ball, and run with it. You won't regret it. As Joe Isuzu once said, "you have my word on it.”
* Ginormous amounts of sarcasm laden in this statement. If you're familiar with The Cali Bar, you'll understand. If you're not from around here, and want to experience all-things-Cali, let me know next time you're in these here parts. I'll introduce you 'round, then we'll head to Judy's. Good times, good times.
Until next time:
"It is the woman who chooses the man who will choose her." - Paul Geraldy
mad world"
Last Friday I was enjoying some fine company at the soon-to-be-new-4620-aka-hotspot-aka-the-place-to-be The Cali Bar*, and therefore could not post a TFF last week. Below you will find last weeks, along with it's continuation for today.
Top Five Fridays - March 23, 2007
Top five signals to pick up on, for men.
5) Sends over a drink.
If she gets up the gumption to offer you a frosty beverage, you're in like Flynn. Just don't be a wanker, tossing it on her crisp, clean, white shirt, shouting "woo-hoo, wet boobies!!!" Have some class, man. Thank her kindly, and sip from that Blue Tornado she just purchased for you. Just be weary of that pineapple slice that it doesn't poke your eye out.
4) Puts "Let's Get It On" on three-peat, looks directly at you.
Could it be any more obvious? Well, we'll address that later. Get your butt off that bar stool, walk over to her, and try not to make an ass out of yourself. Though with her wearing out some Marvin Gaye, it may not matter what you say. Hell, you could probably chuck a beer on her shirt, yell "wet boobies!!!," and still have a shot. Maybe.
3) Licks her lips.
Easy there buddy. Don't get overly excited, and blow your chance... among other things. Also you have to watch out for the prostitute-factor. This could be a signal for 30 minutes, for the low, low price of $300. Or the woman could just have some leftover ketchup that's she's aching to get rid of with nary a napkin in sight. That's what we call misdirection. So pay attention, and figure out which one it is. May have to have a trial and error basis for the first few women.
2) Notices your Spider-man shirt, starts to discuss whether Wolverine or Batman is the better anti-hero hero.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!! That's a good one. Good luck with that there fella.
1) Phonebook to the back of the head, whilst shouting "dumbass!"
It's an underused approach, but works nonetheless. Hopefully, fingers crossed, you can still pick yourself up off the barroom floor, dust off the cigarette butts and beer bottle tops, and catch her before she leaves. The phonebook method is usually only employed after you've completely missed the all of the four signals listed above. Take the hint, she's jonesing for you dumbass. Go!
Top Five Fridays - March 30, 2007
Top five signals to pick up on, for women.
5) He's been staring at your boobs for the past ten minutes.
Obviously he's interested in you, just maybe not the part you really want him to notice. Or maybe you do, who knows? Just employ a line like "I see you've met the twins," or "hey, I'm up here buddy." Most men will snap out of the glare, and notice you for who you are. Oh sure, they may go back into the trance, but you can at least try to keep them interested in what's coming out of your mouth. If may be difficult. Godspeed, and good luck.
4) Plays "Into The Mystic," "Can I Stay," and "Wild Horses", looks directly at you.
What he can't say, Van, Ray, and Mick will. If you can stop your heart from pounding a gazillion miles-a-minute, your next move should be moseying on over to him. Just be careful that he's not a player, and has read this blog to learn the secret ways to get women. Lord knows that's what I'm renowned for, picking up women. Oodles I say, oodles!
3) Sends over a drink.
Well, it somewhat depends on the drink. If he's sent over what you're drinking, then he's observant. If he sent you four Jagerbombs, you might want to smile, wave, and exit stage left. Short Mark, you know who you are, and what you've done. Dood.
2) Within earshot, starts discussing Grey's Anatomy.
So if you're having a few with the girls, you hear the McDreamy look-a-like talking about what Meredith needs to do, then that means he's letting you know how sensitive a guy he really is. But most guys think the people behind Grey's Anatomy screwed themselves early on. They let Katherine Heigl strip down to her skivvies in the first season. Now most men have no reason to watch the show. If they want melodrama, they can look to their workplace. Unless they're in construction, the lucky bastards.
1) Exists.
C'mon now ladies, haven't you already figured this one out? We're always interested in you. Always. All we have to be is breathing for you to understand that we'd like to get with you. No signals, no drinks, no looks are as obvious as the fact that we're sitting there. So grow set, oh women of the single world, and make the move. We guys have been taking the initiative for years, it's about time the reigns were passed over to you all. Take the ball, and run with it. You won't regret it. As Joe Isuzu once said, "you have my word on it.”
* Ginormous amounts of sarcasm laden in this statement. If you're familiar with The Cali Bar, you'll understand. If you're not from around here, and want to experience all-things-Cali, let me know next time you're in these here parts. I'll introduce you 'round, then we'll head to Judy's. Good times, good times.
Until next time:
"It is the woman who chooses the man who will choose her." - Paul Geraldy
posted by The Big Man | 3/30/2007 11:47:00 PM
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