Top Five Fridays - August 4, 2006
"Let’s get married
Hold hands, walk in the park
You can get a cat as long as it barks"
Top Five Fridays - August 4, 2006:
Top five things not to do at a wedding reception.
This TFF is in honor of my friends getting married soon.
5) Attempt getting to first base with the mother of the bride.
That's not a hottie standing on the edge of the dance floor, that's the bride's mother. Anyone that the bride has descended from (mother, grandmother) is strictly off limits. A good rule of thumb is to remain just sober enough to give you the courage to hit on one of the bridesmaids.
4) Streak.
Cause nobody wants to see that. Really. This isn't the UT vs. Florida game or Wimbledon, so keep your skivvies on.
3) Spike the punch.
We don't want to hear what the father of the bride really thinks of the groom. Keep your flask firmly in your pocket. Even if you can control your liquor, most of the families probably won't be able too. If they start drinking then they might start dancing. White people dancing is even scarier than all of the groomsmen streaking.
2) Sing karaoke.
Especially if you're drunk. "Reunited" should have remained in the '70's, and we sure as hell don't need to hear Uncle Fred and Aunt Irma's rendition. Karaoke is never a good idea, but is an even worse idea at weddings. Having Cousin Willie singing "Yellow Submarine" can turn a good reception sour quick-like.
1) Give a speech whilst inebriated.
You'll end us sounding like an idiot, or give away some secrets between men. We all know that schnapps can open 'the vault,' so if you have to give a speech remain sober. Please. The bride doesn't need to hear what really went on at the bachelor's party. As far as anyone not involved is concerned you all went to the Waffle House, and just lost track of the time. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Until next time:
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. " - Rita Rudner
Hold hands, walk in the park
You can get a cat as long as it barks"
Top Five Fridays - August 4, 2006:
Top five things not to do at a wedding reception.
This TFF is in honor of my friends getting married soon.
5) Attempt getting to first base with the mother of the bride.
That's not a hottie standing on the edge of the dance floor, that's the bride's mother. Anyone that the bride has descended from (mother, grandmother) is strictly off limits. A good rule of thumb is to remain just sober enough to give you the courage to hit on one of the bridesmaids.
4) Streak.
Cause nobody wants to see that. Really. This isn't the UT vs. Florida game or Wimbledon, so keep your skivvies on.
3) Spike the punch.
We don't want to hear what the father of the bride really thinks of the groom. Keep your flask firmly in your pocket. Even if you can control your liquor, most of the families probably won't be able too. If they start drinking then they might start dancing. White people dancing is even scarier than all of the groomsmen streaking.
2) Sing karaoke.
Especially if you're drunk. "Reunited" should have remained in the '70's, and we sure as hell don't need to hear Uncle Fred and Aunt Irma's rendition. Karaoke is never a good idea, but is an even worse idea at weddings. Having Cousin Willie singing "Yellow Submarine" can turn a good reception sour quick-like.
1) Give a speech whilst inebriated.
You'll end us sounding like an idiot, or give away some secrets between men. We all know that schnapps can open 'the vault,' so if you have to give a speech remain sober. Please. The bride doesn't need to hear what really went on at the bachelor's party. As far as anyone not involved is concerned you all went to the Waffle House, and just lost track of the time. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Until next time:
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. " - Rita Rudner
posted by The Big Man | 8/04/2006 04:58:00 PM
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2 comments
