Top Five Fridays - August 25, 2006

"If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

Top Five Fridays - August 25, 2006:

Top five reasons why guns and ammo should not be allowed in the workplace.

5) Without customers, how are you going to pay employees?
If you get rid of every customer that ticks you off, there would probably be none left to support the business. You need customers to supply cash for services. That's just plain ol' economics.

4) Without employees, how are you going to supply services?
Same as #5, if you take out every employee that takes too long in the crapper you'll end up with everyone's workload. You don't want that. Leave the machines of destruction at home so you can continue trolling MySpace while you should be working.

3) Shells can be expensive.
Not to mention the guns. You can't get a gun for $20 and a nickel bag. This isn't high school anymore. Money would be best spent supporting your hookers and blow habit.

2) Using guns isn't as easy as it appears in Doom.
Most people need proper training to fire under pressure. If all goes to hell, you can't just hit the 'Reset' button. There are actual consequences. Plus, you don't get to hear all the cool video game effects in real life.

1) Because you don't want to end up Bubba's bitch.
Do you really want an up north trip? De-luxe accommodations at Brushy Mountain State Penitentiary? Hell no. The best way to remain calm, cool, and collected under great duress at work is to imagine what would happen to you if you ended up in the slammer. You won't even jay walk after bouncing those disturbing thoughts through your noggin.


Until next time:
"Charlton Heston admitted he had a drinking problem, and I said to myself, "Thank God this guy doesn't own any guns!"" - David Letterman